In a world of technological revolution, social networking sites have become a part and parcel of our lives. Social Networking sites are the new platform for instant communication. About 10 years back, e-mails were the popular means of communication. But later they were replaced by chats. Even though e-mails are still very popular, it is easier to send messages on Facebook as it offers a plethora of services. Instant replies from friends, discussions on topics, photo albums in one place, information about education, work, designation, spouse, children, siblings, relatives, families, hobbies, favorite books, religious and political views, ad infinitum are available for all to see in one place.So all the information is served on a virtual platter.
The concept of friend has also undergone a sea of change. In face book, the friends are not close friends – while some of them are, most of them are acquaintances, newly found old school mates, college mates, and colleagues from workplace etc. The ‘Friend’ concept gives a feeling of being connected without really “feeling” connected.
In this article I will use the broader meaning of the word “Friend” as explained above and as used in facebook or other networking sites.
I decided to write this article and explore an idea that occurred to me – Why not use Facebook to Test your “self image”!
I have outlined a list of questions. Answer Yes or No.
Do you feel inadequate about the quality of your work when you see your friend’s work designations? (Like as I said before – ‘FRIEND’ is a term used in this article to refer to your collection of people in face book. Example- acquaintances/ long lost school friends/ college friends/ colleagues/ networking friends etc )
Do you feel that your weight has suddenly started bothering you more than it did after you became a part of Face book?
Do you feel bad about your weight when you see your thin “friends.”?
Do you compare your financial standing with your friends?
Do you check the wonderful places they visited and feel low (You may think- I wish I had gone there … how lucky she/he is ! etc )… [these are normal thoughts but the question is – Do they make you feel low?]
Do you wish you had a better & a bigger house than your “Friend”?
Are you ashamed of revealing the true nature of your work?
Are you jealous and/ or feel low when you see “married” friends while you are single?
Are you jealous and/ or feel low when you see “single” friends while you are married?
Are you jealous and/ or feel low when you see that your friends have children and you don’t have?
Do you see someone and say “my skin looks bad/ my hair is bad/….. (physical appearance comparison)?
Do you see someone and say “oh! she looks much younger than me” ?
Do you think “oh ! he looks much smarter than he was in school?
I’m sure you would have got the general trend of these questions by now … there can be many of them!
If you answer YES to most of the questions, then believe me, you are NORMAL!
These are just fleeting thoughts and as long as they remain fleeting its fine!
The problem occurs only when these thoughts impinge upon your peace of mind, they disturb you for more than a few minutes, they take your sleep away and/ or you spend more than 20 minutes or so daily thinking about your “self perceived” inadequacies.
If this is the case then your “self image” needs an overhaul.
Only when you ACCEPT yourself the way you are, can your aspirations make you BECOME something more than what you are!
Daily 3 Rounds of tapping on the following Affirmation/EFT Statement will take away the need for constant unfavorable comparisons and will teach you to accept yourself the way you are.
Even though I constantly compare myself with others (on Facebook), I accept and respect myself the way I am. I release this shame or embarrassment associated with myself.
Tapping on deeper core issues from past will also help.